Tuesday, March 07, 2006

Breakfast with the Captain

My wife bought the girls their first box of Captain Crunch.

It's a sugary sweet taste treat, that along with toast, juice, and milk makes for a complete breakfast.

I hadn't had a bowl in well over 20 years.

It tastes the same.

Afterwards, C asked me to look into her mouth to tell her if she's bleeding. She had apparently fallen victim to the infamous "Captain-Crunch-making-mincemeat-of-your-upper-palate" syndrome.

Unless you allow the sweetened cubes of the Captain to soften up a bit by soaking in milk for a year or two, the sharp butted nuggets effectively scrape the first two layers of skin off whatever fleshy surface they come in contact with.

Rumor has it they came out with the crunch berries (spherical shaped for less blood curdling screams) to lessen the effects of the golden nectareous ingots.

Many a saturday morning cartoon marathons were marred by the long lasting effects of the Captain's lethal crunch.

4 comments:

gawfer said...

I too, fondly remember the wounds suffered chomping the captain’s booty while intently watching Wile E. Coyote conceive and execute but ultimately fail in an exquisite plan of death supported by ACME Inc. The shredded pallet however, went unnoticed until a handful of salty Lay’s Potato chips entered the threshold of my young mouth causing a twinge of pain and the unmistakable taste of metal.

Ah, the days of youth were never so good.

OKDad said...

"unmistakable taste of metal..." -- that's a new one. We're you one of those pathetic braces wearing pre-teens?

My sympathy.

On a different tangent, you seem to have captured the essense of my anecdotal run-on sentenced narratives.

Bravo.

gawfer said...

No braces here, just that the taste of blood frequently resembled chewing on a piece of aluminum foil, or more currently, the grinding dust of a metal flapper wheel.

BTW, thanks for the compliment most honorable teacher.

friend-jl said...

hmmmm...not sure which is worse.
1) bloody raw mouth
or
2) lactose intolerant dash to the toilet