It's not often I sit in a McDonald's watching my 3-old navigate the human habitrails and have a hearty chuckle while reading her Happy Meal box.
But the level of absurdity displayed on the thin cardboard container of fast food was almost too much for my middle-aged grey matter to comprehend.
This week, Mickey D's is cross promoting the new Pirates of the Caribbean flick with all the blustery vigor that only the mouse and the golden arches could muster.
What tickled my flap-doodle funny bone were a series of politically correct, white-washed, homogenized pirate riddles that someone somewhere was paid good money to think up and commit to paper.
Somewhere in pirate afterlife land Captain Morgan is spillin' his rum, Red Beard is getting a shave, the Jolly Roger is getting a facial, and the Dread Pirate Roberts is telling Buttercup, "...as you wish...but first, let's eat some fish."
It it weren't for the cool inflatable swashbuckling cutlass Happy Meal toy that I instantly inflated and gave to PK to go and torment the other kids with, my pirate swaggering afternoon would have been scuttled for sure.