Friday, February 23, 2007

Chinese Finger Traps awaiting in my laundry

The cold weather has brought out an interesting dilemma in my perpetuous chores of the laundry kind.

Long sleeve shirts.

Specifically, my little girl's long sleeve shirts.

They wash and rinse and spin just fine, tumble dry with the best of the rest of 'em, and even cooperate nicely when pulled from the dryer, literally jumping onto the awaiting miniature plastic hangers of which we now have close to a trillion of.

It's the ones that are rebelliously turned outside-in that cause me grief and make the dozen or so follicles on my arm stand up and take notice.

To turn these anarchistic sleeves inside-in/outside-out for proper wearage, I have to stick my size 10 arm (note - hypothetically speaking, since to my knowledge, arms don't really have a universal sizing standard) into a size 3 sleeve (see previous note).

Like Pooh bear diving into Rabbit's hole for a taste of the good yellow bee sputum, it goes in with little effort...until my man hands get to the light at the end of the sleeve tunnel at which point I either have to stretch the fibers of the wrist area to their maximum sheer strength (borderline bursting), or just back off, pulling what I can of the sleeve out with me. Much like the Chinese Finger Traps we'd always buy at Olvera Street in old Los Angeles for a nickel.

This method of half-sleeve retrieval works okay, but there's still the issue of having to finish off every sleeve end, because I wasn't able to reach the outer limits of the arm hole to do a proper outside-outturning of the sleeve.

Again, shouldn't be an issue, and truly wouldn't be, unless you have to do it a dozen or so times per laundry run. Then, it just gets darn tedious (as opposed to sorting and folding drawer upon drawer of socks).

I've taken complaints from the 7-year old that some of her shirts are stretched out a bit in the arm and wrist areas. I was blaming it on our washing machine until that fateful afternoon when my daughter's caught me with both of my arms up to their long sleeve shirts wrists, trapped for a split second, helpless as a snowman chained to a tanning bed

"Aha" the 7-year old yelled.

New rule in the house -- unless your long sleeve shirt has an iron-on transfer of My Little Pony on it, all shirts must be outside-out when placed in the hamper.

We'll see how long that rule lasts.

Now counting my genes and reading Michael Crichton's, Next

7 comments:

~ Amy ~ said...

So funny, but so understandable. The ridiculous frustrations that doing laundry cause.

tuesday said...

I think you may still have a problem. Unless I'm the only one this happens to, that is. Having no My Little Pony shirts, all my clothes go into the washing machine outside-out, but somehow...maybe by the magic of television...they somehow turn inside-out by the end of the cycle. And the thing is, I usually have full loads, so there's not a lot of room in there for movement. So, how are the little buggers doing it?

OKDad said...

Hmmm, I think I'd have to consult the Missing Sock Elves that hang out in the dryer for a reference on that one.

I'd try turning them inside-out to begin with and see if the reverse happens.

Otherwise, I might suggest recreating the conditions of your washing machine in your bathtub - with you playing the part of the spinny-thingy in the center - and watch cafefully.

Sure, it'd be messy and semi-vomit inducing, but think of all the questions to one of life's biggest mysteries you'd be privvy to.

tuesday said...

Do you have a little sister? Because I bet you used to get her to do a lot of crazy things when you were younger, didn't you? Heaven knows, my older brother tried doing that to me all the time, because I was a little gullible when I was growing up. I like to think, though, that I've finally outgrown that. Not that that's true, probably just wishful thinking :P~~~

Piper said...

i didn't know you could buy anything in L.A. for a nickel. ever.

charming blog. cheers..

Emily said...

Do what my mom did: Stop turning things rightside-out. Just fold them as-is and let the girls deal with turning them.

Mom thought she'd really break me of that wrongside-out habit when she came up with that plan. She didn't count on my resourceful little self figuring out how to pick up an inside-out shirt, turn it upside-down, stick my head through the neckhole, and turn the rest of the shirt outside-out as I pulled it on. (I can provide diagrams of this upon request.)

Neither Mom nor I have had to turn a shirt rightside-out at any time in the past 25 years....

OKDad said...

I'm picturing the process in my head and I think I get it.

Clever girl. I kind of had a similar relationship with my tube socks as a teen.

Afraid my OC side won't let me hang a shirt on a hanger without it being rightside out. Such is life as a chemically imbalanced ambidextroid.