Thursday, September 20, 2007

Faster Fly Huntress, Kill! Kill!*

When we first moved into my small town, one of the things I had to get used to was the abundant fly population. They're just a part of life here and we've been dealing just fine.

One gets in the house, I would hunt it down and feel not an ounce of pity for the buzzing beastie as it's lifeless and squished corpse was discarded into the trash bin.

We picnic outside, every item of food must be protected lest it become covered in a black swarm in mere seconds.

The fairly mild and moist summer seemed to have abated the fly population some -- or perhaps the mosquito population boom sent the fly families packing for clearer air space. Either way, as the temps have climbed a bit here at the summer/fall cusp, the flies seem to know that cooler temps and windy conditions are quickly approaching, thus ending their reign of terror on human outdoor activities.

This year, I have two additional PFC's to aid in my war of the flies -- my girls.

Having observed their Daddy exhibit extreme OC behavior when it comes to chasing one of these multi-eyed home space invaders, I fear they've picked up the vibe of sheer satisfaction I derive from tracking down and ending the lives of these pesky pests.

PK's weapon of choice is a lacy pink number, wire handle shaft painted white, with a flexible plastic killing surface in a lattice design.

Don't be fooled by her innocent smile and frilly looking swatter. This Fly Huntress has the reflexes of a ferret and an almost sixth sense as to where her prey will attempt to find refuge from the hunters.

C's fly chasing weaponology centers around a flip-flop design.

The handle is extruded plastic of multiple dayglo hues. The business end of the swatter is a genuine rubber slipper, in matching colors, complete with foot retention strapping and a brightly emblazoned logo for some debugging software (get it, debugging -- fly swatter?)

Who'd a guessed that when I picked this marketing tchotchke up at an internet expo back in the 90's, it would be become my eldest daughters flying pest control instrument of choice, many years and 1300 miles later.

Where PK's methods are all about stealth and prey landing spot prediction, C utilizes the girth and bulk of her slipper-swatter to deal devastatingly deadly in-flight blows. She's all about speed and power.

My wife chooses not to participate in our house cleansing ritual, seemingly content with just swatting away the circling pest if and when one ventures too close to her fragrant smelling head of hair.

That's fine with us.

Daddy and the Fly Huntresses are ever vigilant and at the ready.

* - With apologies to Russ Meyer


SnorterLuster said...

One thing to remember, a fly jumps backwards before it can fly forward. Hit the fly from behind if possible, he then jumps into the swatter. You just kinda help him commit suicide.

Becky said...

I taught elementary science a few years back and picked up this little tidbit of info about flies. They take off... BACKWARDS! If you aim BEHIND them with your trusty swatter you will get them 9 out of 10 times. I'm thinking with the skill the three of you have developed it will be more like 10 out of 10 times!

My brother has recently become a stay at home dad. I send him the occasional post that I think he "needs" to read. He seems to enjoy and appreciate the fact he is not alone in this venture.

I really enjoy your posts. I grew up in a small town in Wyoming much like the one you describe in Oklahoma. Thanks for allowing me to share your town while remembering mine.

OKDad said...

Take off backwards! Those sneaky sons-of-guns.

The girls will be thrilled when I share this info with them. They'll think I'm fibbing, of course, but if our kill ratio goes up due to our new "get 'em backing out the door" technique, I'll be redeemed.

My Mom just told me that her Chi Gong (Qigong - Chinese exercise) instructor says to talk to them nicely..."You don't belong in here, go outside where there is food and
lots of room, or I'll SWAT you!!!

Guess there are many ways to get rid of flies.