Street gang invasion

It had to happen sooner or later, but a dangerous new street gang has invaded, apparently moving through my small town from their home turf on the westside.

Sadly, they aren't the romanticized singing and dancing Jets and Sharks from the West Side, nor are they the colors wearing, deuce chunkin', AK-47 slinging, crack-dealin', low-riding Boyz from the Hoodie.

Nope, these new gangsta's can be easily spotted by their funky spiked hair doos, their penchant for gathering in high places, and an apparent need to rid the world of hunting dogs (maybe they mistake them for drug sniffing dogs, who knows).

Their weapon of choice are sharpened needles -- not the kind your Grammy hems your pants up with before sewing it tight. I'm talking thick, razor tipped, long as a Sonic Coney dog and barbed needles that these gang members hide in their spiked hair styles.

Since they've been spotted hanging out around Main Street and in their safe dens around town, the local cops have had multiple altercations with them, resulting in the shooting death of four alleged gangsters.

Low enforcement officials are warning locals not to approach members of the new menace, and definitely not to touch them, for they seem especially prone to attack when physically touched.

Fellow street gangsters...I give you...
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The Westside 'P-pines