Monday, September 26, 2005

"Well, I'll be..."

Our small town is fortunate enough to have our own dump.

Actually, it's just a long ramp that takes you to the top of a dumpster, that gets hauled away on a set schedule or whenever it gets full.

To dump your load, you must be a resident off my small town. Acceptable proof of residency is a utility bill.

Easy enough.

Last week I took a load consisting of a broken limb from the recent storms, the remnants of our tile kitchen counter top, a few bags of grass shavings, and a trash can full of wood shavings.

I drove the loaded El Camino up the ramp and started unloading everything non-organic, since there are piles located elsewhere in the dump for those items.

A 60-something fella I've never seen or met before, comes walking up to me. He's about 5 foot nothing, 200 and something, coke bottle glasses, red bandana tied round his balding but thankfully comb-over free pate, stained t-shirt (no holes), and rustic blue jeans. And he has three eyebrows.
Picture Boss Hogg on a rough day spent out at Cooter's garage.
BH - Whatcha got?
Me - Just some stuff to dump.
He raises an eyebrow. Uh oh, me thinks trouble is brewing.BH - You got something to show me?
Me - Oh, okay. Here.
I pull out my Oklahoma driver's license and show it to him. He peruses the laminated card which allows me to operate a motor vehicle in this state and hands it back to me.
BH - That means nothing to me. I need to see a utility bill that shows you live here.
Me - Well, my address is right there on my driver's license.
He pauses long enough for me to think several things, the last of which is what I'm gonna make for dinner that night. Finally he raises his second eyebrow and says,
BH - Well, I'll be.I try my best not to show any emotion at all, but my brain is racing to remember the following dialogue for this blog entry.Me -I've been here loads of times before. Showed the young fella my license and my power bill back in April and never thought twice about bringing a bill out every time I'm out here.
Still looking at my license. He looks up at me and raises his third and final eyebrow. I sense a confrontation.
Me -...however, since your the new boss around here, I'll be sure to bring my power bill out the next time, and I'll be sure to stop in and check out my load with you.
He smiles, extends his hand out.
BH - My names Hank, pleased to meet you.
Me - Likewise (shaking his hand)
BH - Just saying, I don't know you, never seen you around here, and I've been here for 3-weeks now.
Me -Well, you probably won't see many Asian fellas driving a classic red and white El Camino hot rod around here, neither.
BH - I reckon'
Me - Okay, well, sorry to make a mess of things, and I'll be sure to bring out my bill next time I'm out here.
BH - I'd appreciate that very much.
The idling El Camino beckons me to get behind the wheel. I get in and am careful not to spin the wheels as I drive away.

Don't want him to think I"m some disrespectful punk kid

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