Thursday, April 05, 2007

The notice in C's backpack proclaimed that sign-ups for the girl's summer softball season were quickly approaching and coaches were desperately needed.

We talked it over with C and she absolutely, postively wanted to play softball again this summer, stating proudly that this year she could actually "throw the ball to someone," as opposed to what she did last year, which resembled an Aboriginal boomeranging more than anything.

The other day while walking across the parking lot to pick C up from school, the mother of one of C's softball teammates from last summer (we'll call her B), yelled and gesticulated wildly at me, beckoning me to come over for a friendly chat.

I did.
I was suddenly and without any provocation, attacked from my smiling blind side...B - My husband (Z's Dad) wants you to coach with him this year?
Me -
B - Yep. He says he'll do it, but only if you do it too.
Me - Well, I helped out last year, but only as a standing-around-Dad-spectator-who-chased-balls-into-the-outfield-kinda guy. I was planning on doing the same this year.
B - So, you'll help him coach then?
Me - Huh, well, I'll be at every practice if that's what you're asking.
B - He said to be sure to tell you that you'd better be there (jokingly).
Me - I'll be at every practice that I bring C to, and I'd be more than willing to help him out.
B - Coaching...
Me - Whatever...catching balls, fetching Gatorade, yelling encouraging remarks to the players...
B - Great. Because he said he wouldn't do it without you.
Me - Whatever he needs me to do, I'll do, as long as it's doesn't involve actual coaching or teaching softball skills in any way, cuz I'm a total lamo when it comes to just about all team sport skills.
B - It's only softball. You're so funny. Okay, I'll tell him you said okay.

At this point the kids starting flooding out of the school building and the controlled chaos of child pickup began it's strange and wonderous dance.

Later on, while I was replaying the conversation I had had with B to my wife, her only response was, "I don't think either of our girls are going to wrestle, or do Judo, or go into competitive skiing, so maybe this would be a good experience for you to learn some softball basics."

Is there a "Girls Softball for Dad's who only did individual sports as a kid for Dummies" book?

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