Drinking Arnie

My Father-in-law thinks golf is a waste of time.

I totally agree with him. However, anyone who plays golf knows how addicting it is and how much fun it CAN be to play. Also, quoting lines from Caddyshack, Happy Gilmore, and Tin Cup for 18-holes with some buddies while watchng for the beer cart girl is pretty much a perfect day.

He won't even consider watching golf on TV, groaning out loud if he happens to stumble upon the Golf Channel while channel surfing. Strangely, he will stop everthing he's doing to watch Tiger hit a drive, chip onto a green, or make a 25-footer for a birdie. He must appreciate the art of the sport.

But, I digress.

My F-i-l was born and has lived in the same town in Oklahoma for all 66-years of his life. He married his high school sweetheart, has farmed, ranched, overhauled Ford motors, and ran a manufacturing facility that spanned four city blocks and employed over 5000 people.

Umm, what does this have to do with golf?

My F-i-l didn't graduate from a big university. Instead he's got several advanced degrees from the School of Life, Experience and-Do-It-Yourself. Even though he circumvented the higher educational system to get ahead, he put enough value in education to put his three kids through college, and one through grad school.

Hello, golf relative reference coming soon?

The other day we were working on the bannister (which he made, turning each riser by hand), chair rail and wainscoating that we're installing on our staircase. Some of the angle cuts were pretty tricky and when he got one dead on perfect, he muttered, "even a blind pig finds an 'a-kern' every now and again."

I don't know who was more tickled. Me, reacting to the down-hominess of his phrasology, or him, getting a chuckle out of me getting such a tickle from something he said.

So, what does any of this have to do with golf?

Well, later that same day, I cooked him up some lunch and mixed up an Arnold Palmer for him to drink.

From what I could gather, he had never had one before, never heard of one before, never dreamt in his wildest Okie-born-and-raised dreams that he would be drinking and enjoying a 50/50 mixture of lemonade and iced tea named after one of the greatest golfers ever to play the sport.

I told him that next time I play golf, and make a good, long par-making putt, while my partners are telling me "good putt," "nice putt," and "nice par," I'm going to just casually mutter, "even a blind pig finds an 'a-kern' every now and again."

We both had a good chuckle.