Sunday, January 22, 2006

Miss(ed) America

Watching the Miss America Pageant has been a long-standing tradition in my wife's family.

The entire family would gather around the tube, pencil and pads in hand, ready to keep tally and select who would win the "scholarship" crown.

I'm reluctant to say that this tradition reared it's mundane head last night as I witnessed my wife and daughters replay on our living room floor what has transpired for 3 and a half decades on my in-laws living room floor.

"Oh, darn, she's dancing. Dancers almost never win."

Miss America has apparently found a home on the Country Music Channel (CMT). Too hoaky for the networks, and the audience for the mother of all beauty, oops, I mean scholarship contests has dwindled to sub-network audience Nielsens.

Even UPN didn't want it.

"Well, at least she's doing ballet. Ballet is good. Better than tap.
Tappers never win."

Several incarnations ago, the Miss American Pageant had a "game show" segment - this was when the game show "Who Wants to be a Millionaire" was hot on the airwaves. We watched in horror as Miss Oklahoma crashed and burned during this segment, failing to answer the simplest of questions.

"Oh, another dancer. That's good...means that we (Miss Oklahoma) may still be in the running.
3 of the 5 finalist are dancers, so, those are better odds for us."

Loyalties are being tested tonight, between Miss Oklahoma (who my wife has always rooted for, even during her 18 years as a Californian) and Miss Georgia, who is happa (mixed Asian and Caucasian heritage) - like our daughters.

Oh she's playing the piano, that's good. Most of the judges usually like that.

And yes, if you ask most Okie's which of the Miss America's of the past that have been Miss Oklahoma's, they'll be able to tell you.

Quote of the night came from my 6-year old..."She needs to lose some weight in her chest."

BTW, Miss Oklahoma, Jennifer Berry won.

The whole state is saying "yee hah" and "yip yo!"

And she won doing ballet.

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